PentUp Sexual Frustration
by Majik Beaver
Summary: If you can figure this out, do share. Cause even I don't know what this story is about. Draco is OOC from HBP. R&R.
1. Half Penguin Babies and Chocolate Frogs

_**A/N:** I know I haven't written anything in forever. But I've had no luck in thinking of ficlets that I deemed to be funny. So I thought I'd try my hand at something that almost had plot. Which neither of my previous writings have. This is my first attempt at anything you'd consider to be a romantic fic. All of mine were just a jumble of crazy stuff. So I hope this is actually good. I appreciate any and every type of feedback as to how to make this good. So please read and review. I also know that Draco is completely out of character in this. I do not care. And just for the hell of it I might bring back Sirius again. (I'm still in denial.) Well read and review away! Hope it's good. :smile:_

_**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. And I may quote stuff occasionally. I like to quote stuff. I'm like a parrot._

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Ginny sat on the Hogwarts Express staring blankly out the window. The rain was pelting the glass making it almost impossible to see anything beyond the fogged panes. She had entered that compartment looking for her boyfriend, Dean, only to find a terrifying sight. She clapped her hands over her mouth when she saw Dean in a most uncompromising position with Lavender Brown.

"DEAN!" she screamed. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!"

Dean looked up at her with wide eyes and removed his face from Lavender's with an odd squelching sound and quickly tried to act as if nothing happened. Lavender hastily fixed the buttons on her shirt and left the compartment as quickly as she could. With tears starting to form in her eyes, Ginny pointed at the door.

"Ginny..." Dean came over and grasped her hand in his, "can't we talk about this?"

"Get out Dean..." she said quietly.

"But Ginny-"

"I said get OUT!" She snatched her hand out of his grip. Slowly, Dean made his way out of the compartment, glancing over his shoulder at her.

She flopped down into the seat by the window. With a tear slowly trickling down her cheek, she watched the rain begin to come down harder as the sky darkened with dangerous clouds. Claps of thunder shook the air around the train and lightening illuminated the tears running across her rosy cheeks. She heard the compartment door slide open but didn't turn and see who it was. It was when she heard the familiar drawling voice that she closed her eyes trying to make him disappear with her mind.

"Oh it's the mini-weasel," Draco drawled, leaning against the door frame. "I thought I was walking into a normal empty compartment but I seemed to have stumbled into the mouth of hell."

Ginny turned to face him. Her eyes flashed with anger though a tear was still on her cheek. "Can I help you?"

Draco looked slightly surprised for a second. Why would he care that she was crying? "No, Carrot Top. I'm just dandy right here."

"Well could you be dandy somewhere else? The blinding light reflecting from your pasty ass skin is making my head hurt."

Draco didn't let the anger show on his face and sat down right beside Ginny and put his arm around her. "Excuse you?" she said but didn't move his arm. "Could you get off of me?"

"No I don't think I will."

"I'm warning you."

"Really? Well what are you going to do about it?"

"I'll bite you."

Draco laughed. "Yeah let's see you tr-OW!" Ginny had sunk her teeth right into his collar bone. She looked smug. Draco stared at her with his mouth hanging open.

"Damn that was hot." Draco then pressed his lips against hers in a passionate way. Both of them looked at each other wide eyed until he broke the kiss and leaned away from her. ut then Ginny surprised them both and grasped Draco's wrists and held them above his head. Starting at her holding point on his wrists she kissed down his arm to his shoulder and his neck where she bit him.

"What are we doing?" Draco mumbled with his eyes closed. Ginny looked at him but did not release his hands.

"Does it matter?"

"Well you're a Weasley..."

"And you're a pasty prat. You're point is?"

"Oh nothing. Do continue." Draco tilted his head to the side to allow her to access all the soft skin of his neck. She sunk her teeth into his flesh again and he gasped. "Freakin' sweet.." he mumbled beneath his breath. She lied him across all the seats and straddled him. She lifted his shirt to expose the porcelain like skin of his stomach. She traced a circle around his belly button with her tongue. And at this point, Lavender decided to walk in looking for her bra. Ginny looked up with a mouthful of Shirt a la Draco. Draco looked at her best he could as he was upside down and pinned in place by Ginny.

"Ehro Rarenrer..." Ginny mumbled through a mouthful of shirt. Draco smirked.

"Oh...next time I'll knock..." Lavender smiled and backed out of the room. This seemed to sober Ginny up slightly and she sat up and tried to fix her hair. Draco propped himself up on his elbows and stared at her with that damned smirk on his oh so sexy, pasty face.

"What is it?" she snapped at him.

"Why haven't we done that before?"

"That's really a stupid question. You're a total arse to me and my family." Ginny adjusted herclothes and smoothed them back out. "Where are your cronies anyway?"

"They got lost in their own compartment." Ginny laughed despite herself.

---------------

They sat a while, randomly conversing.

"You know what would suck?" Ginny asked, unwrapping a chocolate frog from the large pile of treats they bought off the cart. "Ooo, I've never seen an Aberforth one before. I'm hiding this from Ron." She stuck the card in her back pocket.

"What would suck?" Draco inquired before stuffing a pumpkin pastry in his mouth.

"Having a half-penguin baby," she replied nonchalantly.

"Why yes. Yes it would," Draco nodded knowingly. "I find myself worrying about that everyday. Just yesterday I sat myself down and said 'Draco...this is really important. Are you listening? I know it's hard for you, but you've got to quit having sex with penguins. Think of the children. What if one were to be a half-penguin baby? What would you do then? It's lack of human characteristics would not get you out of child support. Plus you've got to think of the penguins. You've already got the penguin syph. You just keep giving it to other penguins. What if they catch on? What then, Draco? What then?' " He stared off in a very pensive way.

Ginny snorted into her drink, causing her to cough and splutter for a moment. "Penguin syph?" She managed between laughs.

"Yes," Draco replied with a sad nod. "Quite terrible actually. Awful burning sensations along with hallucinations and delusions of being the queen of Scotland," Draco said with a smirk. "But luckily for me and you, Weasley, it only affects penguins. I'm just a carrier."

Ginny threw a chocolate frog at him playfully. "You know, Malfoy...you're not as much of an arse as I would have previously given you credit for."

"Oh we can't have that can we?" Draco pulled out his wand and tapped himself on the front of his throat. A blue light erupted from the tip and moved into his neck. When he spoke, it wasn't his voice. In Ginny's voice, he said; "I'm Ginny Weasley. Look at me. I'm a feisty little red head. Hear me roar. Rawr!" He pawed at the air.

Ginny burst into a fit of giggles.

"I'm Ginny Weasley," he continued. "I like to snog sexy Slytherins but don't want to admit it. I have lots of freckles that make me look ultra sexy for some reason. You know you want me." Draco ran his hands down his chest and put on an exaggerated sexy face. Ginny was doubled over in silent laughter, turning really red from lack of air. Out in the corridor, Ron was walking by looking for Neville when he heard Ginny's voice. He leaned his ear against the door.

"I'm Ginny Weasley," Draco said. "I want to take off my shirt for uber sexy Draco Malfoy." Ron then burst in the door.

"What the hell is going on!" He said, wide-eyed and red-faced. Ginny and Draco stared at him.

"Oh Ron," Ginny-voiced Draco said. "Hermione sent us a message. She said she seemed to have misplaced her bra and needs your help to find it."

"Braless Hermione!" Ron looked like Christmas had come early and took off back from where he came on the train. He didn't even question Malfoy's obviously misplaced voice. Draco tapped his throat with his wand once again causing the blue light to retreat back into the wand tip. In his own voice once more, he began to laugh.

"Did you see his face?" Draco snorted. "I've never seen anyone so cheerful."

Ginny smiled. Then a look of concentration crossed her face. "Do you really think my freckles make me look sexy," she asked him.

Draco looked down suddenly. "Lovely cat you've got there. What's it's name?"

"Malfoy...that's my shoe..."

"So it is...so it is..." He diverted his eyes and began opening a chocolate frog. Ginny smiled to herself.

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Ginny had lied her head in Malfoy's lap while she was listening to him talk about his manor. "It sounds beautiful," she breathed, eyes closed. "You're mom sounds wonderful as well. Is it hard for her with your father in prison?" She turned her bright blue eyes toward him. She looked to him sympathetically at the expression that crossed his face.

"It was hard at first," he admitted, looking down into her eyes. "Mother was kind of upset but I think she was secretly relieved. She was afraid of Lucius. But who wouldn't be? He was a bastard."

"He almost had me killed second year," Ginny said quietly. "I know." Draco looked down at her. Her bright red hair lie all around her head in curls on his lap. It framed her pale complexion so well. Freckles scattered across her nose made her look so innocent. He tucked a stray curl behind her ear. She opened her eyes and looked back at him. Before he knew what he was doing he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss, sucking gently on her bottom lip before pulling away. The look on her face mimicked the way he felt so well. Draco didn't know what he was doing.Out ofnowhere, he suddenly cared for this red-headed enemy of his family. Lucius going to prison had made him see that he didn't have to be a complete jack-ass all the time. And when he actually talked to her, looked at her, spent time with her...somehow he knew that already that she was special to him. It was fantastic. He smiled and gave her another quick kiss.

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at him. Then she smirked. "Prude," she said.

"What's that mini-weasel? Is that a challenge?"

"Why I do believe it is, Pasty." She flashed him a grin and got up quickly to make a run for it. With his seeker reflexes, he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back down onto his lap.

"Leaving so soon?" He made a pouting face. "But I was falling in love." He smirked and tilted her back to kiss her again. This time he ran his tongue along the part in her lips. She opened them willingly and he began to explore her mouth. Every corner he tasted. He bit gently into her bottom lip.

"Pansy," she mumbled breathlessly into his mouth. Then she bit him quite hard on his bottom lip. He tried to restrain himself but moaned against her lips. 'Woot,' he thought, 'now she knows I like it...this is gonna hurt _oh so good_.' But he had to fight the urge. He broke away momentarily and looked into her eyes.

"You've had your go. Now it's my turn." He lied her down across the seats and kissed her passionately once more. He kissed across her jaw line up to her ear. He nibbled along the edge of her earlobe and breathed against her ear. It sent a chill down her spine. His warm breath against her ear felt fantastic and she gasped slightly. He smirked and sat up to look at her.

"I think we should probably change into robes," Ginny said as she composed herself.

"Wonderful suggestion, my red-headed minx. Let's see who does it quickest, shall we?"

"Another challenge, Malfoy? You're on. Ready, set, go!" She unbuttoned her shirt and pulled it off and removed her pants then pulled her robe on. "Done," she said in a triumphant manner as she finished. She turned to look at him and he was still standing there but his mouth was slightly ajar and he was in mid step toward his trunk.

"Hey," she said, folding her arms. "You tricked me. You just wanted to see my awesome red bra."

"Yeah," Draco gulped. "That's exactly what my plan was..." He then grabbed his own robe and pulled it over his clothes, slightly shocked thus forgetting to remove them first.

Slowly but surely, the Hogwarts Express started slowing down. Ginny grabbed her trunk off the luggage rack and placed it on the floor. She placed her hands on Draco's shoulders from behind him and leaned up to whisper in his ear. "Astronomy tower, 11pm, Tuesday. Come if you think you're man enough."

"You are your challenges," Draco replied with a smile.

"You bet, Pasty," Ginny said, pulling her trunk behind her she walked out the door of the compartment. "See you around," she called back to him

"Ta ta, mini-weasel." Draco gathered his things together. This year was going to be...different.

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_**A/N:** So? What did you think? Any good? Should I continue? Please let me know. I'm here to please. Much love to you all:blows you numerous kisses: ta ta!_


	2. Mr Bojangles and a Magnificent Bum

_**A/N:** Ohmigod you guys. That is the most reviews for one chapter I've ever received. You have no idea how much it means to me. I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. Please review again. The feedback helps me write. And now, for your reading pleasure, I present...chapter 2!_

_**Disclaimer: **See Chapter 1_

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Draco stumbled out of the train out onto the platform. The rain had reduced to a fine mist making it almost impossible to see. He looked around for any sign of that red hair but couldn't find it. Suddenly, he was surrounded by Slytherins. He was unable to resist and was swept into the carriage with them. Pansy Parkinson was the first to attack him.

"Ooo Draco, my dear. Where have you been? You never came back to the compartment," she threw her arms around his neck in a very possessive manner. Draco reached up and removed her arms and put them back on her lap.

"That would be to get away from you, Parkinson. The smell of straight perfume is enough to make me want to die. And I'm not your 'dear'," he said as he brushed the shoulders of his robes back to it's original smoothness.

Pansy was always making a fool of herself around Draco. Despite his numerous attempts to convince her that they had nothing together she still remained completely convinced that they were a happy couple. He just let her have her delusions. If she was off dreaming about them getting married she wasn't trying to cuddle with him. He was likely to develop asthma from sitting in her proximity. She must completely douse herself with perfume in the morning. Draco coughed a few times and turned away from her for some attempt at fresh air. He glanced around the compartment and everyone was attempting to breathe inconspicuously. Goyle, the least successful, was covering his mouth with his robes and breathing through them.

As the carriages came to a stop outside of Hogwarts, Draco almost tripped in his haste to get out of the anaerobic carriage. He closed his eyes and took huge gulps of air as he walked, accidentally walking into someone.

"Oh I'm terribly sorr-" he started to apologize but stopped. "Potter," he said grimacing. "I just washed these robes."

"Malfoy," Harry said folding his arms. His hair was sticking up randomly as always. Draco always had to fight the urge to go and hold the boy down and comb his hair. Honestly. Brushing never hurt anybody. Coming up beside Harry, were his groupies.

"Ah," Draco said, his eyes lighting up mischievously. "Weasel, Mudblood, Longbottom, Loony," he said turning to face each of them respectively. "Ooo, Mini-Weasel," he nodded curtly to Ginny as she joined the group, trying not to let them see him smile.

"Pasty," she nodded back with a small smile.

With one last glare, Potter stalked past Malfoy, followed in tow by each member of his group. Ron was the only one that risked a second glance looking as though he'd love nothing more than to smash Draco's face in. Ginny began to follow but reached out and touched his hand for a split second and gave him a reassuring smile before retreating into the school as well.

Draco was one of the few left standing outside. He looked up at the illuminated rain drops that continued to fall. Realizing he was now dripping wet, he made his way up the stone steps and performed a drying spell on his robes before entering the Great Hall.

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After the feast, Ginny was feeling really full and sleepy. In a daze, she followed the group up to Gryffindor tower and through the portrait hole. She stumbled up the stairs to the dormitory and hit the bed without undressing. She stared at the inside of the curtains surrounding her bed, thinking of a certain blonde-haired Slytherin.

The curtains were thrown back from her bed and Ginny sat straight upright attempting to see the culprit.

"_Lumos_," came a mutter from the darkness and there stood Malfoy. In a jester's outfit.

"What are you wearing?" Ginny mumbled sleepily. She rubbed both eyes with closed fists.

"That matters not, oh my beautiful weasel. Tuesday was far to long to wait to see you again," he grabbed her hand and placed a kiss on each of her knuckles. "Here! I bring thee gifts!" Draco reached into his bag and pulled out a little hamster wearing a jester outfit exactly like his.

"Aww," cooed Ginny. "It's...cute in an odd way. Still cute though." She beamed up at him.

"His name..." said Draco in a secretive manner, "...is Mr. Bojangles. Keep him secret. Keep him safe." With that, Draco mumbled _Nox_, and disappeared into the darkness.

"Pasty!" Ginny yelled, sitting up. But wait. Wasn't she sitting up before?

"That's nice, Ginny," muttered the girl from the next bed over.

Ginny looked around in the darkness. Then fell back on her pillows. She should have realized that something about that was too weird to be real.

"Stupid dreams," she whispered to no one in particular. Then she rolled onto her side and went back to sleep.

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The next morning, Draco lie in bed staring at the roof of his four poster. Under his eyes resided large dark circles. He had ended up keeping himself awake almost all night thinking about what had happened. He still had figured out nothing. Why had he sat with her? Why had he kissed her? Why had she kissed back? Was he a rebound? Did he care if he was a rebound? What was Ginny's favorite color? What was Ginny's favorite food? What was Ginny thinking about right then? Why was he thinking about Ginny? Why was he calling her Ginny? He sighed and resigned any attempt at sleeping. He rolled lazily off of the bed and then peeled his face off the floor. He rubbed his eyes, grabbed his wand, and made his way to the Great Hall. It was still about 5 am so he was the only one. He lied his head on the table concentrating really hard about how much he wanted some caffeine. He opened his eyes and saw a piece of paper on the table. He pulled it to him and eyed it suspiciously. It was blank.

Sitting up, he pulled a quill out of his robe pocket. It was a fancy number that required no ink. It never ran dry either. He named it Walter. With Walter he started to scribble a quick poem on the paper about how much he loved coffee.

He bit his lip in concentration as he wrote:

'_How doth I love coffee  
coffee is great  
and so is toffee  
and so is..._'

'What rhymes with great?' he thought. He tapped his quill against his lip.

"Aha!" he said. He finished his poem:

'_and so is masturbate...tion._'

He looked thoroughly pleased with this and sat it in front of him to admire his work. He stared at it for a long time, smirking. In the middle of the paper, a small brown circle appeared in the center of the paper then spread. Suddenly, the paper burst into flame and a cup of coffee sat in its place. Draco didn't even care that this was completely abnormal and began to drink it blissfully. He glanced up to see a bright red head appear in the door. He was about to call out to Ginny but decided against it. She didn't seem to see him. She walked over to the Gryffindor table in a daze and slumped into a seat, letting her head fall forward onto the wood.

Draco cringed. "Friggin' ouch," he mumbled. Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was still only 5:30 am. He looked around. He and Ginny were very much alone. He walked across the Great Hall to stand behind her.

"Trouble sleeping, milady?" He stood smiling but it faded slowly when she didn't answer. He peeked around and saw that she had fallen asleep. He grinned and pulled a piece of paper out of his bag. He scribbled a quick note on it and left it under her cheek. He threw his bag over his shoulder and retreated down to the kitchens.

Upon reaching the painting, he tickled the pear and stepped through. The house elves all ran forward to help him.

"Coffee," he stated. They brought him a large cup. He downed it, thanked them, and then headed to the library to do some reading till breakfast actually started and schedules were passed out.

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"Hey Ginny," Neville said, shaking the girl.

"Mr. Bojangles, I will avenge thee!" she yelled sitting up. Neville looked confused but just walked away. A piece of parchment was stuck to her face. She peeled it off and stared at it. As her eyes came back into focus, she was able to make out a very tidy handwriting.

'_Ginny my dear_,' her eyes flitted back and forth across the paper. '_You looked so peaceful, I couldn't wake you. I thought about you a lot in such a short time. I feel like I've gone insane...and I _like_ it. I have decided, that if you would like it as well, that I would like to get to know you better. You are the only decent, enjoyable conversation I've had in ages. You're feisty, intelligent, and a total mess. It's fantastic. What do you say to a private lunch on the lake? Please meet me by the portrait of the ticklish pear at lunch time. Until then..._

_Your Fair-Skinned (not pasty) Admirer.'_

Ginny smiled to herself and tucked the note into her bag. She smoothed her hair down and helped herself to some bacon that had finally appeared before her.

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Draco was on his way to potions, whistling to himself as he walked. He was in la-la land and did not notice the ruckus happening around him. Another Slytherin was about to hex the smaller Creevy. Draco, unaware of his surroundings, tripped over the Creevy's discarded bag and fell into the curse.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" the Slytherin said. Draco went rigid and toppled to the ground.

"Ohmigod!" The Slytherin yelled. He quickly said the counter curse and ran to escape any possible retaliation from Draco. Draco said up slowly, rubbing his shoulder. The Creevy boy was staring at him with wide eyes.

"Can I help you?" a disgruntled Draco asked.

"You...you saved me," the boy stuttered.

"What?"

"You're my hero!" Creevy squeaked. "Thanks mister!" He ran away, telling everyone in his path what had just happened. Draco just shook his head and took a more cautious approach to the potions dungeon.

The smog in the dungeon was making it hard for even he and the know-it-all Granger to stay conscious. Weasley was making a formidable sized drool pool on the top of his table and Potter was obviously in another place mentally. Crabbe and Goyle were unconscious under the table and Blaise Zambini was staring straight through Professor Snape.

Snape seemed oddly cheerful for...well Snape. He kept pointing at random ingredients that he had written and commenting on their "awesomeness." He also looked rather un-greasy. That had always been Draco's biggest problem with the Potions Master. Shampoo never hurt anyone. He always had to fight the urge to shove a bottle of Pantene Pro-V, a delightful muggle product he had discovered, into the professor's hands. Snape was mixing his potion. He grabbed a hefty handful of frog spleen and tossed it into the cauldron.

"Bam!" he shouted. This made many children sit up with wide eyes. "And that just kicks it up a notch." He grinned. It didn't suit him.

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Ginny, after a typical History of Magic lesson, made her way to the portrait of the pear. When she reached the corridor she saw Draco sitting with his back against the wall, looking at some sort of hand out with a look of distaste on his face.

"What's the matter?" she asked sitting her bag on the floor.

"Look," he said pointing to an article with a picture of himself with a cheeky smile blinking up at her. "A whole article about me and I ask you, where is my butt?"

She looked at him confused as she sat down beside him. "A whole handout, completely devoted to me," he continued, "and not one shot of my butt."

"What are you in here for?" She began reading the article but he took it.

"I tripped and fell into the curse meant for the tiny Creevy. He took it as me saving him. I totally didn't mean to. No one saw me trip which was good. But seriously. Even if the article is superfluous, there is no reason for there not to be a shot of my butt."

Ginny was now laughing at him.

"It's not funny," he said standing up. He then turned and pulled his robe to expose his trouser clan bottom. "Look at it! Accept it! Look at it, Ginny! Look at my butt." He rubbed his bum with his hand. "The worst thing you can do is try to ignore it! It's a total circle can't you see? You can't hide from it! It's a force that has to be reckoned with, accept it before it destroys you!" He said, smiling, now shaking his bum at her.

"Draco, you are crazy." She pulled him down so that he was then sitting on her lap. "But you do have a nice butt." She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He stared at her for a long time. "What?" she asked finally.

"That was the first time you called me Draco..."

"And?"

Draco shrugged but still looked enormously pleased.

They stocked up on food and put it into a basket that the house elves supplied them with and set off toward the lake. It was completely deserted by the water. They sat in relative silence till Draco broke it.

"Snorkel," he said. Ginny looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. Seeing that this did not start a conversation, he tried again.

"Piggy bank," he tried. Ginny stared at him.

"Caesar salad?" He got nothing. "Pencil sharpener? Pikachu? Plastic bag?"

Ginny tilted her head to the side and looked at him. Draco looked at his lap and took a bite of his croissant sadly.

"Polyester," Ginny said. Draco looked up at her.

"Wha?" he said through croissant.

"Safety pin," she said. "See I can do it too. Penny whistle." Draco grinned at her. "How's your first day back?" she asked.

"Boring. Saved a Creevy. Snape was clean. How bout you?"

"Snape was clean? What the hell?" She popped a grape into her mouth.

"Yah. His hair was shiny and sleek. And he seemed happy." Draco shrugged. "Maybe the apocalypse is coming."

Ginny giggled. They had a delightful little luncheon together. Draco walked with her back up to the castle steps.

"Well, my dear, this has been fun," he said, smiling sheepishly. He reached out to her hand and she gently placed it within his hand. He lifted it up to his lips and gave her a kiss on each knuckle. Ginny's eyes got big as she remembered her dream.

"I've got a gift for you," Draco said reaching into his bag.

"Mr. Bojangles?" Ginny asked excitedly. He looked up at her with a total wtf face.

"What?"

"Nothing," she mumbled. He grinned and pulled out a dark purple flower.

"Oh Draco," she said. "It's beautiful." She pulled him close and hugged him.

He nuzzled his face into her hair. "It's very rare. If you take care of it, it will never wilt."

"I'll take care of it. Don't worry." She didn't want to let him go, but a bell signaled the end of lunch. He backed slowly away from her.

"Have a good day, my beautiful weasel," he said. "I'll see you Tuesday at 11pm. Cause you know...I am definitely man enough and yeah." He puffed out his chest. She laughed and gave him one more quick hug before trotting off to her next lesson. Draco smiled and entered the castle whistling happily, not paying attention to his surroundings.

_**A/N:** Up to par? Let me know! You guys rock. By the way, I realize that everything was rushed with them in Chapter 1. But I had to throw them together somehow. And now they'll start off slow with all the cool relationship stuff. Hope it stays good and humorous and stuff. But that's what your reviews are for. Have at them, dear chaps! Luvs and hugs for everyone._


	3. Coffee and Subway

_**A/N:** Sorry I haven't updated yet. I just started my senior year of high school. I have 3 APs so my free time is like nada. So here you go. Chapter three. The remainder of the first day back in classes. Hope it's okay. (My apologies for it being so short.)_

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Obviously, Draco had quite forgotten his mishap with the teensy Creevy earlier, and while once again not paying attention to his surroundings, slammed directly into someone. When he aspirated some bushy hair, he came to realize it was Granger.

"Oh Hermione," he said, righting her footing and placing his hand on her shoulder. "I do apologize." He smiled at her then walked off whistling.

Harry stood, mouth agape, watching the retreating form of Malfoy disappear into the crowd. "What the bloody hell is up with Malfoy?"

"I'll kick his albino ass!" Ron yelled. He rolled up his sleeves and took a step forward but Hermione placed her hand on his chest.

"Are you seriously going to kick his ass because he kept your girlfriend from falling?" She glance into his eyes.

"God I love it when you call yourself my girlfriend." Ron's eyes lit in a mischievous way and he grabbed her hand dragging her down the hall toward Gryffindor tower. Harry shuddered. Ron and Hermione were creepy.

-------

Draco trotted merrily to Transfiguration. He didn't pay much attention though. After his fifth failed attempt at changing his guinea pig into a pin cushion, McGonnagal came and slapped a stick on his desk.

"Mr. Malfoy, I must ask you, why are you so out of it?" She pursed her lips together.

"Oh," Draco replied. "I'm sorry, professor. It's just...you see...I...umm...I have...gonorrhea!" He opened his eyes wide to add emphasis to this last comment.

McGonnagal took a step back and surveyed him with a concerned look. "I'm not sure what disease this is of which you speak, but you do look rather pale, perhaps you should go to Madame Pomphrey."

"I know I'm pale!" he snapped. "But does everyone have to rub it in?" He gathered up his books and walked out the door. But Draco didn't go to Madame Pomphrey. He just went back to his dungeon dormitory and lie on his bed. After a short while he fell into restless slumber.

--------

A sharp tap on his door brought him to his senses. It was late now. He glanced at the enchanted window on his wall. It was alight with stars and the moon was bright. It was truly a beautiful night tonight. The tap sounded again and he groaned.

"Don't get your bullocks in a twist, I'm coming, I'm coming!" he replied grumpily. He rubbed his eyes with both hands and shook his head in an attempt to gain consciousness. Slowly, he slumped over to the door and creaked it open. He looked around and saw no one. His brow creased in concern and he was about to close the door when he heard a noise from below. There upon his doormat was a small owl. He reached down and it fluttered to his arm. He took the little parcel from it and sent it on it's way.

"I really have no idea how that thing got down here," he said to no one as he watched the owl fly away. His confusion mounting, he turned his attention to the little box in his hands. He pulled off the brown paper to reveal a piece of parchment and a little box. The parchment was sealed to the top of the box, so he unfolded it to show a message in a very bubbly handwriting.

'_Dear Draco,'_ it stated. _'I do hope you were sleeping well though I'm afraid we have a bit of an issue. Please report to my office as soon as you can._

_-Albus Dumbledore_

_PS: Subway's foot-long oven roasted chicken on wheat with provalone is delicious.'_ Draco stared blankly at the note.

"What the fuck is that old wanker talking about?" Draco opened the box to find what appeared to be a very, very large rodent tooth. He shook his head and after closing the box, headed up to Dumbledore's office.

He reached the statue and stared at it. He paused before attempting to open it. "Subway foot-long oven roasted chicken on wheat with provalone," he tried. The statue jumped aside, and Draco just looked disturbed and ascended the spiral stair. He knocked quietly on the door and then pushed it open.

Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk eating what looked like a Subway foot-long oven roasted chicken on wheat with provalone. Draco, disguising his grimace, inclined his head. "Professor."

"Draco," Dumbledore said through a mouth of sandwich. "So nice of you to join me, have a seat?"

Draco made his way to the chair before the headmaster's desk and sat. "You wanted to see me, Professor?"

Dumbledore looked at him in surprise. "Goodness, Draco. You frightened me. When did you arrive? Please, do have a seat."

Draco, shocked and unable to do anything else, stood then sat again.

"Yes," Dumbledore started out. "I did want to see you. It seems a hamster that you had given a..." he glanced down at a paper on his desk, "Ms. Weasley, has become huge and must be destroyed." He smiled at Draco with a twinkle in his eye.

"Umm...," Draco was utterly lost. "K?"

Dumbledore was still smiling. It had been over a minute since he blinked last.

"Well...what should I do? I honestly have never given Ginny a hamster. So I actually have no idea what you are talking about."

Dumbledore smiled.

"Did you hear me?" Draco waved his hand before Dumbledore's face. "I said I have no idea what you are talking about."

Dumbledore smiled. He was looking straight through Draco. Draco was really creeped out so he stood and started to back toward the door. Dumbledore was still smiling where he had been sitting, so Draco peaced out in the direction of the door and flung it open and jumped the first few steps. In his haste, he tripped and tumbled all the way down the staircase and landed on the floor beside his bed.

He sat, blinking ineffectually in the darkness, tangled in bed sheets, and confused beyond all hell. Slowly, he climbed back onto his four poster and looked around the room suspiciously. He was going to have to have a word with those house elves. They must have slipped something in his coffee that morning.

"Stupid gonorrhea," he mumbled.

--------

_**A/N:** Was it okay? Please review. I'm sorry it was short and weird and made no sense. It's still Monday. The next chapter is about the meeting in the astronomy tower so keep reading and I'll make it good. Love ya!_


	4. Flashes of Light and Sonic Delights

_**A/N:** Sorry about the wait, faithful readers. Senior year provides me with little time. Most of which I spend with my beloved boyfriend. So I hope this is worth waiting for. And just because you're such a great audience I'm going to start writing Chapter 5 right now. Loves and hugs. Enjoy._

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Draco spent the rest of the night in a fitful slumber. Tossing and turning. Mumbling the words "Subway foot-long oven roasted chicken on wheat with provalone" over and over. Sweating.

Abruptly he sat up.

"Ahh! Mr. Bojangles!" he screamed.

"Oh piss off, Draco," a groggy Blaise mumbled.

Draco nodded and dropped his legs over the edge of the bed. He rubbed his eyes with closed fists.

"Gotta wake up," he mumbled to himself. "Gotta get dressed. Gotta make this a fantastic..." Draco sat straight up with wide eyes. "Holy shit! It's Tuesday! Thank Merlin, it's Tuesday!"

Draco ran over and shook Blaise. "Blaise! My dear friend! How can you sleep? It's freaking Tuesday!"

Blaise took two swings at Draco. The first missed. The second...well Blaise fell asleep mid-swing. Amazingly enough, he remained so. For the noise that accompanied Draco's jovial dressing was of phenomenal proportions.

--------------

Draco's merry mood could not be measure by means we as humans possess. He sat at his house table in the Great Hall; coffee in hand, grin on face, and tie on backwards. But he was oblivious to such a flagrant fashion faux pas. And by Merlin, was he feeling jolly. He looked up at the clock on the wall to his left.

"Five A.M.," he said. "Sweet ass! Only 18 hours to go."

Just then, a very sleepy Blaise followed by semi-conscious Crabbe and Goyle, fell through the doorway into a pile. Blaise, who had the misfortune of being on the bottom, grasped a bench and used it to drag himself over to his seat across from Draco.

"Blaise, my friend," Draco grinned, "to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you out and about before daybreak on what is destined to be a beautiful day?"

Blaise unceremoniously raised an arm, and with a flip of the wrist, gestured to a window. As Draco looked over, a new torrent of rain slammed against the window panes and a flash of lightning illuminated the pile of cronies by the door. A huge bang of thunder shook the room and a painting of a sleeping witch fell from the wall only to be followed by screams of its inhabitant Draco nodded and tried again.

"Blaise, my friend," Draco grinned, "to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you out and about before daybreak on a delightfully moist day destined to be a treat to the senses with its flashes of light and sonic delights?"

"Couldn't sleep," Blaise replied as Crabbe and Goyle slumped into their seats. Draco directed a smile toward Crabbe, who responded with a cry and erupted with sobs as he hid his face in Goyle's shoulder. "And it's all thanks to you," Blaise continued, ignoring the growing chaos.

"Don't thank me, dear Blaise," Draco beamed.

"Who is she?" Blaise massaged his temples.

"What?"

"There has to be a girl," Blaise grumbled. "You're smiling. Look what you've done to Crabbe."

Draco turned his grin covered face once again toward Crabbe. Crabbe couldn't handle this, especially this early in the morning, and with a squeak, he fainted.

"Well," Draco responded, "shows how much you know. Cause for your information, a girl isn't the only thing that can make me smile. Could be any number of things. What makes you think it's a girl?"

"You called me 'dear Blaise' in a serious voice."

"True enough."

"So who is she?"

"She is a spunky little tart who I am meeting later but that's all you get to know."

"Haha," Blaise chuckled. "You said 'tar-'" but Blaise fell face first to the table top in a much needed slumber. A cat nap, if you will.

Draco took a sip of his coffee and smiled at Goyle.

"Ugh!" Goyle shook his hands as if he'd touched something tainted. "Sick!"

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_**A/N:** Like ohmigod you have to totally tell me how it was! Ok well instead of writing you guys a lengthly note I shall write chapter 5 for you. :Princess wave::vanishes:_


	5. Happy Holidays!

_**A/N:** I've been rather busy with Christmas and all and I haven't quite finished chapter 5 (now Chapter 6 because of this) yet so I wanted to apologize. I took the time to write you guys a quick story so here you go. Merry Christmas! (Or Happy Holidays if you don't celebrate) Enjoy!_

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Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Hogwarts,

The Prefects are done with duties, reports.

The halls are all empty, and Filch guards the stairs,

And Ms. Norris coughs up a ball of her hairs.

The students are tucked in their four poster beds,

With visions of Bertie Bott's Beans in their heads.

All the teachers were sleeping, and all students too,

But Harry couldn't sleep, despite what he'd do.

He tossed and he turned and finally quit,

And went down to the common room to rest for a bit.

He flopped in a chair and stared at the fire,

Time creeped by slowly but he couldn't retire.

Sleep just wouldn't come and he sighed in distress,

Til a bang at the window announced owl express.

He threw open the panes and took in the bird

But when it bit his face he let out a curse word.

He snatched the note with a glare for the beast

And tossed the bird out without a care in the least.

His eyes fritted back from one word to the next

And he took them all in while adjusting his specs.

"Harry," it read, "it's Christmas Eve night,

And to be quite honest, I'd rather not write.

Be by the fire at 12:31

Cause I have some neat presents for my only godson.

So be there, you ass, cause it's gonna be spiffy.

I gotta go now. See you in a jiffy."

Harry glanced at his watch and then up at the fire,

Just as Sirius appeared in an awkward attire.

He was dressed in all fur, from his head to his feet.

Not a good color either. The same color as meat.

He had a large satchel tossed over his shoulder,

But he sat it aside by the large candle holder.

He ruffled Harry's hair, then asked him to hush,

As he reached in his bag and pulled out a brush.

It was shiny and pink with rhinestones on the back.

He chuckled nervously and it went back in the sack.

On his second attempt, he pulled out a box

Which Harry discovered was crammed full of socks.

He feigned jubilation and looked up with a grin,

And Sirius reached in his sack once again.

Harry received quite a bundle this year.

Staples, penny, small plastic deer,

Pen, pickle, bent paperclip,

Double-stick tape, key, Crest White-Strip,

A balloon with a hair stuck to the side,

"Desert Life: Memoir and Field Guide",

A lot of crap he'll never use,

Plus a blown out car radio fuse.

Harry just grinned so Sirius would too,

But with all this crap, he had no clue what to do.

Sirius then stood, in his meat colored fur,

Made his way to the fire and stepped into the blur.

Harry was shocked as screams filled the air,

Not to mention the overwhelming scent of burnt hair.

Sirius fell to the floor and began to roll all about.

"OH GOD! OH GOD IT BURNS!" he would shout.

And Harry laughed at the flickering lights,

Then said, "Happy Christmas, you bastard. I'm sleepy. Good-night."

------

_**A/N: **Merry Christmas you guys! Or Happy Holidays. Actually I'll just cover all my bases. Happy Christmahaunakwanzakas! You guys don't have to review to this, but if you'd like feel free. Also a hug for each reader/reviewer for a holiday gift._


	6. Grapes and Lies

_**A/N:** Why are you here if you haven't read my ficlets? Go read them. Or read this first. Just read and review k?_

**-------------**

Ginny lie on her back, staring at the canopy of her four poster bed. Unblinking, motionless. "It's Tuesday," she breathed.

With a groan, she rolled onto her side and seized the muggle watch her father had given her from her bedside table. She pressed the button on the side that illuminated the time and the determined face of Han Solo on the band.

"It is too early for Star Wars," she grumbled, dropping her legs over the edge of the bed. "Five A.M. I have 18 hours to come up with something."

She sighed and rubbed her eyes with closed fists. "Gotta wake up," she grumbled. "Gotta get dressed. Gotta make this a fantastic... Oh Merlin, it's Tuesday." She dropped her face into her hands.

Why had she asked him to meet her without planning something first? Why had she not put at least some thought into it? Was Draco gonna be upset? Would he talk to her again? Why did she care so much? Why was he being so nice? And why was he having his effect on her?

She gave up on thinking and stumbled over to the bathroom door. After two failed attempts at stepping through a doorframe, she reached the sink and doused herself in cold water. She pulled on her skirt and socks and put on a shirt and her robe. And as soon as she grabbed her tie and wand, she set off toward the Great Hall.

---------------

Expecting it to be deserted at this hour, she stepped into the Great Hall, still attempting to pull her hair back into a ponytail. Much to her surprise, and possibly dismay, aside from an unconscious Blaise and Crabbe and a Goyle trying to shake invisible filth from his hands, she spotted that ominous blonde head in the gloom of the Great Hall.

No sooner had she turned on her heel and made an attempt to flee the room, did she find herself being lifted off the ground. She was turned around and Draco Malfoy's hands stayed on her hips as he smiled down at her.

"Hello, Pastey," she made an attempt to smile. His grin faltered slightly.

"I prefer the term 'fair-skinned'," he smiled again. "What are you doing up so early, beautiful?" He snaked an arm around her waist and began leading her back to his table. She submitted and had a seat beside him.

"Couldn't sleep," she replied. "Anxious, I guess."

"Me too." He was still smiling. It was slightly unnerving. "Hungry?"

"Actually yeah. But breakfast is hours away."

"Not to worry, my scarlet minx. Watch this." He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled. "DOBBY!"

The house elf appeared with a POP before them. He dropped in a bow almost touching his long nose to the table top.

"Morning, Dobby," Draco stated. "Breakfast for the lady and myself."

"Yes, sir," Dobby squeaked. "Dobby will fetch it."

"Thank you," Ginny called as he vanished.

"Dobby doesn't belong to my family anymore," Draco explained, "but I was never cruel to him and he will still do things for me if I say thank you afterwards." He grinned at her.

She giggled as the house elf reappeared. He brought a tray of wonderful foods. Bagels, croissants, fruits, oatmeal, bacon, and two steaming mugs of coffee.

"Oh thank you so much, Dobby," Ginny replied as she took in the feast. "It's wonderful."

Dobby smiled and bowed profusely. "Dobby loves to help young Master Malfoy and the lovely Weasley lady." With a POP, he was gone.

--------------

The two sat together, enjoying their early breakfast and talking about nonsensical things.

"I had the weirdest dream last night," Draco said through his mouthful of oatmeal. "There were subs, Dumbledore, and giant hamsters. Mr. Bojangles, I believe?"

Ginny swallowed her bite of croissant whole and began coughing and spluttering for a moment. "Mr. Bojangles?" she managed between coughing fits.

"Yeah," Draco said rapping her on the back in hopes of helping her coughing. Ginny feared a bruised lung but said nothing. "In my dream, Dumbledore said I gave you a pet hamster named Mr. Bojangles and it had gone wild and begun to rampage the school."

Ginny wiped her lips with her napkin and looked over at him. "Well Draco, that has got to be the silliest dream I've ever heard." She stuck a grape in her mouth to avoid having to continue.

They heard the sound of flapping from across the hall and a owl swooped down and landed on top of unconscious Blaise's head. Ginny reached up and took the letter from it's beak and fed it a small piece of bacon before it flew away. She unfolded the parchment and it held only one line.

_Ginny,_

_I love grapes._

_-Ron_

"What the hell?" Draco mumbled reading over her shoulder.

"I have no clue," she said gathering a bagel and banana to take with her. "But Ron is a moron. He may have hurt himself or got choked on his tie again while sleeping. I better go check on him." She leaned over and gave Draco a chaste peck on the cheek. "I'll see you tonight, Pastey."

She got up to leave but Draco caught her wrist. She looked back at him.

"Fair-skinned, darling. Fair-skinned. How often must we go over this?" He kissed the back of her hand and then released her. She waved as she scurried out of the room.

-------------

As soon as she had left the room, Blaise sat straight up. "Tart," he said laughing.

"What?" Draco raised an eyebrow at his friend and stuck another strawberry in his mouth.

"You said tart..." Blaise eyed him suspiciously.

"Blaise, it's been at least 30 minutes since you were saying that sentence. You fell asleep."

"LIES!" Blaise screamed. He fled the room.

Draco just shook his head and bit a chunk off of his bagel. He was staring off at the wall when a furious Snape stalked into the room. He was wearing a cap over his now luxurious, silky hair and a nightgown. When he spot Draco, he marched over to him.

"Have you seen Weasley?" he demanded.

"Ron, sir?"

"Yes, Ron," Snape spat. "That little bastard saw fit to send me this letter before sunrise. I checked the owlery but he had left. Lucky little prick. I would not have hesitated to beat his ass with his own shoe." He tossed the note onto the table before Draco.

Draco opened it and glanced at the five words it contained:

_Snape,_

_I love grapes._

_-Ron_

"What the hell?" Draco was so confused at this point.

"That's what I want to know," Snape fumed. He snatched the candelabra off the table and stalked out of the room.

Draco stared blankly at the door. "I'm beginning to think I didn't get enough sleep."

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_**A/N: **I don't know either. But if you still enjoyed it, review. And go read my ficlets for goodness sakes._


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